Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
We are all done wearing pants today
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
