I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
