I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize