let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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