he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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