I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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