**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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