It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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