just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
