CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize