I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
