How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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