You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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