How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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