the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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