It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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