marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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