Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
