so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
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