so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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