he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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