i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
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Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
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New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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