Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
