She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
