Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
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I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
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Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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