i just google imaged poop.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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