stop calling my apartment porn island.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I want to fling myself into the sun
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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