Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
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I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
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I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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