is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
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