Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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