oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
