wrigley field is MILF paradise
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
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