Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
