We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
