dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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