he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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