If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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