It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize