I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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