i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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