I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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