I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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