we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
only you would photoshop your dick
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Randomize
