I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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