i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
