At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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