There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
