I swear she didn't look like that last week.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
