Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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