I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
