I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
