turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
