all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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