I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
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You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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