I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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