honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
