your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
