u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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