yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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