I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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