You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
