I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
