Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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