Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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