I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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