just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
