I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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