By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
